Making Love Stay: The Research

You'll be glad to know that science is marching on to help us explore the Aftrlife. The following reseach has actually been funded by the government:

ORNITHOLOGY Ivan R. Schwab and the late Philip R. May received a grant to explore and explain why woodpeckers don't get headaches.

This could explain how they make love stay. And so can you!

More on making love stay research:

MEDICINE: Francis M. Fesmire for his medical case report "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage”.

Hiccup. What's that sound. No, I do not have the hiccups. Thanks anyway.

If the following one is about Tom then they totally have the wrong guy.

LITERATURE: Daniel Oppenheimer for his report "Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly."

They all received the Ig Nobel Prize for their research according to Ken Levine in message his blog

Three out of four scientists surveyed said that Tom Robbins is good for your sex life.