An AftrWord on Still Life with Woodpecker:
Tom asks the immortal question: How do you make love stay? I think I've finally figured it out. The answer is:
Don't make love do all the work.
Tom's concept of Joy in spite of everything is great, but in love, we should use Jeff the Troll's formulation "because of everything". Love because of everything. We shouldn't require our partners to love us in spite of ourselves. We should do all we can to protect love from avoidable stresses. It can handle the problems that arise from outside, but it can't always survive the stresses that result from (Tom's other big concept) CHOICE. Choose to love with the way you live. Then maybe love will stay.